Break Ups
by TheJoyOfCreation
Summary: People will often tell you sometimes things happen for a reason, but it isn't you're job to find those reasons. UNIVERSITY!KEVEDD


Am I gonna be ok? Don't be a little bitch! Of course you will. It was so sudden, how come he didn't give me a reason? How come you lose interest? How come things just puplumite down without my awareness? I tried my best…

Didn't I?

Was I so ignorant towards you? If my best wasn't enough…It was a doubt. Any now and then I would get the text.

The phone rang with that chill ringtone, I picked up my phone to slide the unlock screen. It was a message from ''him.''

The text had a very depressing form of saying, It didn't please me.

E: I'm sorry. I made a mistake...

It's been days, It's ok...Ill wait. Then weeks, hmm...I'll wait longer. Months, Years...Why? I still remember it clearly. I passed through the ''Stages of Grief", due to proccess I wouldn't bargain. I wasn't gonna beg him...If this was suppose to last, Then you wouldn't put me on this undignifying position.

I wasn't gonna bagger you with questions and pieces of pain to a piece my painful condition of curiosity.

Let's fast-foward a bit, and say I accepted your decision. Things are alright now, no regrets, I moved on. But that's the thing about pretending, when there's no one else around...you're only fooling yourself...

Throughout you're life, people will often tell you thing happen for a reason and while I may agree to some extent that it isn't necessarly you're job to dig for those reasons. Sometimes, it's ok to avoid pain to a infuel journey to fing the truth. Sometimes, It's better to just focus on accepting things, despite the lack of clarity and move on.

I met Edd on my 3rd year of university, again. I finally met someone who was interesting, We liked the same music, sense of humor, and so on. Edd was someone who I was compadable with, He lived two cities away, so , we had to meet halfway or take a three hour to eachother's houses.

It was worth it. Everytime.

School was even more intense for the first two years and it meant accumilating stress that i had to control to a big mistake of my relashionship. I did pretty well. School, friends, family, part time job and him. We were in a stable relashionship or...so i thought.

We had a mutual agremeent, which meant the disticnt between us is important. It meant:

Sharing everything with eachother, no secrets.

Setting aside our egos, no arguments.

But what it came down of all was trust and after nine months of being together...that agremeent was broken.

Then i was going to my 4th and final year of university, I remember it happened on a Wensday. It was the first week of school. I got home on the evening and I recieved a text from Edd.

**_E: Salututions, i need to speak to you. On camera, i mean._**

**_K: Sure._**

It thought it ODD. We usually do it before we go to bed. Bu ti got on, I started the call, I saw him there crying.

_**''What's wrong?"**_

_**"I..I want to break up..."**_

You see when you hear those words, after beliving that something so solid, so stable, can became flooded with concern and curiosity. The first question you prioritise is _Why?...Why now?_

_Why not earlier? Why are you the one crying? Why aren't we doing this on person? _

But it dosen't stop there. _How? How long have you felt this way? Haw can you expect me to believe that? What did i do wrong? What will become of us now? _And it continues...

**Did you realize what you're ex did this to someone else? It's that guy's fault. **

Beacuse those questions brenched out into more and more and more, until i was left with a especiamal reason to seek the truth. Curiosity was my key.

_**"I...I'm gonna go...I got work to do..."**_

_**"I'll talk to you later.."**_

The call ends. There were only few of my questions answered, But even then the trust was already broken. Now, I was compelent to describe some un truthed answers. I didn't do my work, I went to sleep hoping all of this was a nightmare, ut i woke up the next day to face the harsh truth that the world continues, no matter what.

Whether it's losing a job, loved one, just losing. If i fall behind or you're left behind. Friends tried to consult me, but there words were dropping more questions in my head.

I actually came to exit my situation and fix myself. I figured, all i needed to do is find someone new. You know when you're toy breaks and you need to get a new one, but that's a non-reliable idioligy. It dosen't work for everone. In my vanity, I believe that without such a good partner, it wouldn't be fair to be punished like this.

I went searching, countless guys, dates, none compatible. This went on for a year. I eventually gave up. I wish i would gave up sooner for i wouldn't get my dignity on the line. At the same time i gave up. I got over him, I still missed him being part of my life, but accepted that she was now a thing from the past. He was a previous chapter I wish i could only indoulge in re-reading the story but not re-living the experience.

I gave up the search. I gave up the questions. They didn't need answers.

You see, when a toy breaks, you can't always get a new one. Sometimes you have to remain in the state being without a toy to reflect upon yourself. You have to be strong on your own and extincing independence. Your'e not suppose to be looking for a new toy, you wait until you've earned it. As a gift.

People will often tell you thing happen for a reason. But it isn't necessarly your job to find those reasons. Sometimes, the best thing to do is accept and move on.


End file.
